I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
