Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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