saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
