Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
tell your sister to shave her snatch
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
