got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Randomize
