drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
