Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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