Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize