I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
