all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
