i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
