Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
