Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
