then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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