How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
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