God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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