There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
