Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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