It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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