If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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