she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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