Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
