So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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