what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
