i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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