So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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