You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
