butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
