I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
