redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
