i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
We are all done wearing pants today
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
