Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Randomize
