Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize