Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
