Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Randomize