We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
