This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
