...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
