I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
