I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
