im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
