I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
