he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
