No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
