I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
