After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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