I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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