I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
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