I hate all girls vehemently.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
