turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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