the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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