Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
