Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
