Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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