ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize